Starting Over

Tonight, I started knitting my cowl over. Well I first tried to rip back 2 rows because I realized somewhere along the line I completely lost the pattern. I don’t know what exactly I did wrong – but the ripping back was a mess. Probably because of how many stitches I had and the fact I probably used the wrong method for having that many stitches because I didn’t have an extra circular smaller knitting needle laying around.

So I decided instead of trying to save something that was a mess anyway to start over. I was only 6 rows in and it seemed worth it. I had messed up the count on the piece and done the pattern wrong in spots on so many rows that it just seemed like the right idea.

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And I’m so glad I did.

I have done the cast on plus 2 rows tonight and it’s just better. I counted correctly this time and actually have the right number of stitches per row (last time I did a yarn over here and a knit 2 together there). And I made it a little longer which is what I realized I wanted on the last one.

I swear, knitting tries to tell me about life. But it’s ok to start over. I’m not good at starting over, feels too much like quitting. But really, sometimes starting over means using what you learned the first time to do something better. Feels like my latest and certainly last major weight loss effort. It felt like I was starting over and I hated that. Felt embarrassed and annoyed and frustrated. But now, a month or so in, I realize that I am doing so much better because I truly started over by actually accepting what I did wrong over and over and over again and starting with a new attitude. Who knew, that whole life imitating art saying has some truth to it.

Well played little scarf, well played.

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